Just not fair

(This is going to be a little bit of rambling and) I know I've said this time and time again, but it's not. Why is it that teenage girls have babies just because they think it would be fun and people that want them can't? Or they use no safety precautions and are on their second or third one at the wonderful age of 20. Why do the people that don't want children, don't want to take care of them, or only want them because of the money have several children? UGH I'm just so pissed off at the world.
Alex, Tiffany and I had scrapbooking night tonight which was very much needed by all three of us. On the way home Alex and I start talking about how we're not exactly where we thought we'd be at in this stage of the game. Then I started talking about how a certain friend of ours is so amazing and how less than an hour after Kamryn was born he was there in our room with us (he was the only friend of ours that saw her) and held us both and cried with us. This started the conversation above. I just don't get it. I don't get why things work the way they do. I personally hate the phrase "everything happens for a reason". My response is always " then please tell me what the hell the reason is!"
The night I came home from the hospital I had this horrible dream. Its the middle of the night and the phone rings. Its the hospital. They say that Kamryn is in the morgue and she's not dead and she's crying and I need to come get her. At this point I wake up completely out of breath and sweating. I've had this dream every night for the last two weeks. She would've been a year old last weekend. What does this mean? I thought by now I'd finally be coming to terms with everything, but in all actuality this year is so much harder than last.