Saturday, December 29, 2007

Trouble in Paradise

I never took the time to think about what the death of a child would do to a relationship. I guess I just thought that it would go back to how it was. Or maybe I thought it would get better. Instead it has completely nosedived into Hell. Things were good before Kamryn was born ( or maybe I just chose to ignore them because I was so excited about being pregnant). After her death things started getting on my nerves. Things that he's done for forever. Some days are absolutely wonderful and I couldn't ask for better. Most days it's absolute hell. Friends tell me that I shouldn't worry about it because he doesn't beat me or cheat on me. I think it's almost as bad. His mother has always done everything for him, and his dad and uncle tell him that it's a woman's job to serve her man. I say that it's a mans job to support his family and that their son/nephew should get a better job so his "woman" can stay at home and do things there instead of her working two jobs. This shuts them up for awhile but then they're back at it. J doesn't say that it's how things should be but thats how he acts. I have had enough. I don't know what else to do. I can't handle that on top of missing Kamryn so much and dealing with everything else. All on my own. Am I the only one that things are going even more downhill for? I guess what they say is true: when it rains it pours. Pittsburgh isn't sounding so bad right now.