Life without her

How do I go on without her? She's supposed to be 5 months old now and getting ready for her first Christmas. Yet now she's in Heaven. No one talks about her or what happened and they think that I should be over it as well. They have no idea the pain I feel. How dare them say that I should just get over it. They didn't carry her for 5 months. They didn't have to hold her and then let her go. They didn't have to bury their daughter. Until then they have no room to tell me what I should or shouldn't feel. Or for how long I should feel that. They don't have the guilt that I have. Its my fault that she's gone. When everyone (doctors and nurses) told me everything was fine I actually believed them!! As the holidays get closer the more I feel like I'm losing my mind. Everyone is having babies and I love that but I don't know how much more of it I can handle right now. I'm tired of everyone telling me how much they hate being pregnant or how much their baby is crying. I would love to be pregnant or even be able to hear my baby cry. It's been 10 months and 2 days and things aren't getting any easier. When do they actually get better? Will it be a year? 2 years? Or even 3?