Part 2

February 14 we had our appt at Barnes. I had been reading up on all the things that they could do for lack of amniotic fluid and was feeling good. They called us back, and started the ultrasound. The baby came up on the screen. After a few minutes he said "I know this isn't what you came here to hear but the baby doesn't have a heartbeat". My stomach dropped. I was completely flabbergasted! That was the last thing I expected to hear them say. They scheduled our delivery the next day. We got to the hospital at 6 am and the day began. My sister came and sat with me all day. Which was a little weird because she's my step-sister and we've never really been close, but I was so glad to have her there that day. She took care of me and anything I needed. We did puzzles and talked and I don't remember crying. Once they gave me my epidural I remember lightening up a little and not being so stressed. The nurse came in at 11:20 to check me and said "the baby is here, born 11:19 pm" and I started to cry. Everything went so fast. At about 1 am they finally brought Kamryn Olivia to see us. We had never found out the sex of the baby but we had a feeling it was a girl, which we both wanted. Holding her was so hard. I cried more than I can ever remember. I have no pictures of her, which I really regret. I wish someone would have taken some despite what I had said just in case I changed my mind. The next day was harder than I imagined. We had her baptized and I don't remember anything she said. I just remember crying and holding her and telling her that she was in a better place. Leaving the hospital was an unbelievable pain. I didn't want to leave her. How could I? The worse was yet to come.

My Story Part 1

We found out that we were pregnant Halloween 2006. I had severe morning (all day) sickness and lost 40 lbs in 4 months. I had to go into the hospital basically every week to be rehydrated. Yeah talk about a horrible couple of months. February 5 was the day we were supposed to find out the sex of the baby. So we went in and they said that they couldn't tell but I could come back later that week and maybe the baby would be in a different position. So they went to make the little video and came back and told me that I needed to make an appointment with my OB. I called as I was walking out to make the appointment. When I made the appointment I asked is anything wrong? They told me no. The next day the secretary called me and asked me if I could come in that day. I told her no but that if it was an emergency I could. She said "NO, No emergency". The next day I went in and sitting on the table it was the most nervous I've ever been in my entire life!! When he walked in all he said was " I really don't think this pregnancy is going to turn out well, you've been leaking amniotic fluid and there's only about a tablespoon left." What? He made us an appointment with a Perinatologist for that afternoon. When we got there and we started the ultrasound he started saying that the baby's heartbeat was abnormal, that it was underdeveloped and that there was no bladder. How could all of this come about so fast and completely out of left field? At all the appointments till then the baby's heartbeat had been fine. Of course I wasn't about to take one persons advice. We made an appointment at Barnes Jewish Hospital in St. Louis for Valentine's Day.