Part 2

February 14 we had our appt at Barnes. I had been reading up on all the things that they could do for lack of amniotic fluid and was feeling good. They called us back, and started the ultrasound. The baby came up on the screen. After a few minutes he said "I know this isn't what you came here to hear but the baby doesn't have a heartbeat". My stomach dropped. I was completely flabbergasted! That was the last thing I expected to hear them say. They scheduled our delivery the next day. We got to the hospital at 6 am and the day began. My sister came and sat with me all day. Which was a little weird because she's my step-sister and we've never really been close, but I was so glad to have her there that day. She took care of me and anything I needed. We did puzzles and talked and I don't remember crying. Once they gave me my epidural I remember lightening up a little and not being so stressed. The nurse came in at 11:20 to check me and said "the baby is here, born 11:19 pm" and I started to cry. Everything went so fast. At about 1 am they finally brought Kamryn Olivia to see us. We had never found out the sex of the baby but we had a feeling it was a girl, which we both wanted. Holding her was so hard. I cried more than I can ever remember. I have no pictures of her, which I really regret. I wish someone would have taken some despite what I had said just in case I changed my mind. The next day was harder than I imagined. We had her baptized and I don't remember anything she said. I just remember crying and holding her and telling her that she was in a better place. Leaving the hospital was an unbelievable pain. I didn't want to leave her. How could I? The worse was yet to come.