Why, why, why?

I've asked you all and myself this question so many times that I should know the answer. I read these blogs from the other moms in deadbabyland and I feel more and more like shit. The reason for my post tonight is that I read a post from beautiful curve and it said that she had no amniotic fluid and her husband had talked about the baby suffocating in the womb. I had never thought about it like that. AT ALL! I had a tablespoon of amniotic fluid when they did the ultrasound to tell me that "this pregnancy is simply not going to end well." It was a week after that before she died. Did she suffer? Was she suffocating? I have this horrible image in my head that won't go away. Maybe till after the 15th it would just be a good idea for me to stay away from deadbabyland. No offense to anyone but I just don't know if I can handle it.