AND THEN THERE WERE TWO
9 years ago
Monday, December 17, 2007
Life without her
How do I go on without her? She's supposed to be 5 months old now and getting ready for her first Christmas. Yet now she's in Heaven. No one talks about her or what happened and they think that I should be over it as well. They have no idea the pain I feel. How dare them say that I should just get over it. They didn't carry her for 5 months. They didn't have to hold her and then let her go. They didn't have to bury their daughter. Until then they have no room to tell me what I should or shouldn't feel. Or for how long I should feel that. They don't have the guilt that I have. Its my fault that she's gone. When everyone (doctors and nurses) told me everything was fine I actually believed them!! As the holidays get closer the more I feel like I'm losing my mind. Everyone is having babies and I love that but I don't know how much more of it I can handle right now. I'm tired of everyone telling me how much they hate being pregnant or how much their baby is crying. I would love to be pregnant or even be able to hear my baby cry. It's been 10 months and 2 days and things aren't getting any easier. When do they actually get better? Will it be a year? 2 years? Or even 3?
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
3 comments:
Hello Hon, I actually came to visit from my blog..
Firstly I would like to say how deeply sorry I am for your loss.. I know it's extremly hard.
As this time of year is slowly looming over us, this so called 'happy family holiday season' it's a constant reminder that a part of our family is missing and won't be coming back.. and unless someone has gone through this type of loss, losing their baby they have NO idea how hard it really is and that there is NO getting over it..
Please know that i'm thinking of you and your little one...((hugs))
I lost my child on Feb. 23, 2007.
So you and I lost our babies not too far apart. I had a melt down a few weeks ago. Crying...crying...screaming and crying. I don't think the meltdowns ever quite end...i just think they eventually occur farther and farther apart...
Sending you waves of understanding and peace.
Thinking of all the little ones here...just know that better times will come.
hello,
I was just on michelle's blog and bumped into yours, I am deeply sorry for your loss, no one has a right to tell you how to feel, even if they have lost a child, every person is different.
Your baby girl celebrated christmas in the arms of christ, she watches over her mom and dad.
You may never know why or how, just know God really does love you.
The pain will never go away, she will always be with you, as far as pictures, maybe the hospital you delivered at might have some on file, if you want them , if not she will always be in your heart and your mind.
Miss Emmy is a mess, she will cheer up anybodys day, and I know Michele really appriciates you and everything your do. You are a blessing the them and to me , You make her life easier now and for that I want to thank you. I met you at the house one day, when I took Michele to chemo.
Hang in there even if you have to tie a knot at the end of the rope.
You and your husband make a nice couple and will someday make great parents.
e mail me if you want to at shortstop_tm@yahoo.com
lots of prayers
twylia
Post a Comment