Thank God no breakdowns

Christmas went off without me breaking down one time. Well except for when I opened my dad's gift. He drew my name for Secret Santa and got me a huge frame with pictures of me from a baby till now with a few pictures of my grandma and great grandma's (the ones that Kamryn is buried by) and I cried hysterically for about 45 minutes. It's the best present I think that I could've asked for. It actually had meaning and I love presents like that. I think that I was only really sad once or twice because we have had so many new additions to our family this year and it was really hard to think that Kamryn should have been there too. It was funny when we found out we were pregnant last year we were in total shock. Already have suffered a miscarriage in May 2006. I had been really sick and went to the doctor. She told me it was the flu. Our friend Jason who was going through EMT class asked my symptoms and told me that it was allergies. After oh about 3 weeks of dealing with this I went back. Exact words from our doctor were: Pharyngitis, sinusitis and a double ear infection on top of being pregnant is enough to beat anyone's ass. Our mouths dropped. Defintely not expecting that. That was Halloween 2006. We didn't tell anyone for 3 weeks. When I told mom I told her exactly what the doctor said and she was as stunned as we were, but hugged me and said that everything would be okay. Now how to tell dad? What better way than to write him a note and put it in his Christmas card. Okay so maybe not the best way to tell someone that their daughter is pregnant but I was out of idea's. Once again he wasn't mad he was just a little stunned. I couldn't even believe the way J told his parents. We were all sitting there getting dinner ready. We hadn't decided when to tell them, but low and behold out of J's mouth came " Hey Grandma and Grandpa! " I was like GEEZ!! They were like yea!! I think they took it the best out of everyone. It was pretty humorous. We were all pretty skeptical of being pregnant since the last time our pregnancy ended at 9 weeks. We had the first ultrasound the day after Thanksgiving. I was so scared that they were going to give us bad news. My eyes were glued to the monitor and as I saw the little heart beating tears streamed down my face. I knew everything was going to be alright. You know after 12 weeks everything is supposed to be fine, especially when they say that there's a strong healthy heartbeat. Boy is that ever wrong. How could we possibly even begin to think that just 7 1/2 weeks later it would all be gone.
Until our situation I had never even heard of a stillbirth. I had no idea how frequently this happens. It's unbelievable how much of the population has no idea about this "club" that we are in.